Nadja – Luminous Rot

[Reviewed by: stark]

I still remember when we were watching “Doom Generation” together and she whispered to me that her “skin turns to glass” or when we had that “thaumogenetic” moments, always with the climax between 30th and 35th minute. For me, these still are one of the most magnetic fragments of my life. She was wild and insane, but when she’d embrace you, you could die in bliss. But at some point I had the feeling that this relationship became a bit exploited. Or maybe I felt simply tired, so I broke up with Nadja. It was a fiery romance, but, you know, I felt like I need some fresh air, think some things through. So Nadja went her own way, I went my own, I met some other girls… Of course, I’ve seen her a couple of times on the streets, I heard how she’s doing, because after all we had the same circle of friends. We even spoke briefly once or twice about stones, knives or sonnborners, but in general we had our own lives.

Yet a couple of days ago I’ve met her again, after quite a long break this time. There she was, red bloody red… and how she shined! Luminously! I asked if she wants to hang out, she said yes, for the old times sake. But was it the same Nadja I felt in love several years ago? She was more mature, I felt like her lunacy is kept under control now. But every once in a while, I was able to notice her primal, wild face again (“Starres”), that face I loved her for so much. Yet I felt as if I can look through her and understand what’s going on deep inside her mind. Which wasn’t the rule back then. I didn’t fell that excitement of dealing with something thrilling and dangerous – back then I could follow her to the end of the world and jump off the cliff, right now I felt safe. I mean don’t get me wrong, this is still my Nadja, she behaves more or less the same like before, but now her paths are clear, she doesn’t whisper nor scream that much.

And you know what? Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m getting old, but I’m okay with that. For me the times of living fast and drifting in an ecstatic abyss without being sure if tomorrow comes, are gone, but I still cherish them in my memories. Maybe for her too, but in the end the affection didn’t vanish, it’s just… this is not a blazing fire anymore, but a firm embrace with occasional savage flashes of the life we once had. I realized I’ve missed her.

She asked me if I want to meet again. I said yes.

NadjaLuminous Rot
Southern Lord, LORD285
CD/LP/Digital 2021

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